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Post by LOTTIE ZOE MCFARLAN on May 23, 2019 11:19:54 GMT 1
Is she already gone? Can we call her back again? Lottie curled in a corner of the quiet room, her knees to her chest and her hands linked over the top of her head to help her curl even more around the more than obvious swelling of her stomach. Her tears had long since run dry but she still trembled every now and then, almost a shiver running up and down her spine to remind her that her emotions were not in the right place right now. She'd been so well behaved, she hadn't killed nor bitten anybody in so long, she may have electrocuted a few people but only minor zaps.. And there'd been that tree, not to mention angering Zack to the point he'd attempted to really hurt her.. But other than that she'd been so good and yet they were still going to take her baby away from her.
Begging hadn't worked. Promising to be as good as she can be didn't work either. Nothing she said had seemed to make a decision, they said what they had to say and it was all she could hear. She wasn't fit to be a mother, she wouldn't be able to care for a child, she could barely look after herself how could she expect to look after a newborn? They were going to give her baby to somebody else and the thought made her want to spontaneously combust but that wouldn't help at all. She couldn't quite help the electricity that sparked and arched around her form, illuminating her body and presence even in the low light of the room. She hadn't bothered turning the light on, she hadn't needed too. Her wolf and her were in agreement in finding someplace quiet and dark to stay hidden and undiscovered. The camera's mounted on the walls were forgotten about for now, they weren't registering.
She wished she could sit here until the baby arrived so she could keep it secret and keep it safe. Lottie was sure she could protect a little person, they were so small, it would be easy. And she would love it too, love makes everything better. It's one of the reasons why she's so desperate to find somebody to love her. Not even as a lover, but just.. family. She wants a family. This baby was going to be her family and now she'd been told that no, no it wouldn't. She wasn't allowed. She wasn't safe.
The werewolf gripped her fingers into her hair and suddenly let out a loud, broken scream along with a blast of electricity that fried every piece of technology in the room. What did she care about the sound of shattering glass? Good behaviour clearly hadn't gotten her anywhere.
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Post by FABIAN GENESIS ADOLFO on Jun 12, 2019 11:08:53 GMT 1
Fabian had thought of Lottie briefly back when he went for a night out with Zevren and drink turned to his thoughts to that of family and fatherhood, and all the currently pregnant people at the academy… At the time he thought he would hate to be the one to have to tell the woman that she was unlikely to be able to keep her baby, but as it turned out, that was the easy part. It was just words after all, what was much hard was dealing with the consequences of having told her that.
It didn’t take long to track the woman down, there was little of the academy that a person could be that was not under surveillance or just trackable thanks to seeing on which door a wristband was last used or following a scent. To give Lottie credit, running and hiding was far from the worst reaction expected but still she needed talking to and as Fabian found out, apparently that fell down to him. For reasons he still did not understand fully, he held some kind of special status in the woman’s head. He would say it was the whole ‘Alpha’ thing but, she hadn’t been a wolf that long… surely the pack instinct wouldn’t be that immediate? He wasn’t going to question it and despite thinking there were better qualified people for this job he walked through the Therapy Building, resisting the temptation to knock on Zev’s door and carried on until he was approaching the Quiet Room
At which point he heard the screen and saw flickers of light under the door, it made him pause, not exactly wanting to be electrocuted. Once it seemed to die down he reached the door and knocked once but then just walked in. Lock was broke from the surge of power so he didn’t need to use his keycard. Now he had to check Lottie was ok, physically… mentally he guessed it would be a no.
But what to say? Fabian’s hadn’t a bloody clue and so just gave the door a gentle push behind, not enough to shut it completely so there was a gap of light from the corridor outside and he just moved to the middle of the room and looked down to Lottie before taking a seat a small distance away from her, avoiding any broken glass as best he could.
Maybe Lottie would speak first? Maybe having someone she likes near would be comforting in itself? Fabian just hoped she didn’t think he had some say in her baby being taken or not, as he didn’t… not alone at least. His opinion was asked and he gave it but beyond that it was up to the medical team mostly if she would be a fit mother.
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Post by LOTTIE ZOE MCFARLAN on Jun 13, 2019 20:53:09 GMT 1
The electrical energy trickled down to simply static arcs that harmlessly played over her body. The rest of the room was a little scorched though, glass shattered and all of the electrics in the place blown. And now her throat hurt a little, but the tears continued to trail down her cheeks, leaving sparks in their wake. Lottie wasn't even trying for control right now, there was not even a shadow of the thought of it going through her mind. What she wanted, more than anything, was for this all to just be some kind of sick dream. But there was no waking up from this. Somebody was whimpering, a keening whine of a sound that she didn't realise was her until it stopped suddenly and the lack of sound vibrating her vocal chords was suddenly evident. There'd been a knock on the door. That's why she'd fallen silent.
She stared through a thin curtain of her own hair as the door opened but then gave in to trust when the scent of who had entered hit her brain and calmed at least the wolf away from aggression. Blue eyes closed and she hunched in on herself again, confident that her alpha was not as daft as to reach out and touch her whilst her skin sang with electricity, or to try and convince her to calm down. Why else would he be here if he hadn't been told what she had been? Fabian knows everything. He's alpha.
"Did you know?" She asked sadly, her voice barely a breathy whisper but the room was so silent. Other than the crackling of her ability it was quiet.. She took in a deep breath and her shoulders relaxed, slowly it fell entirely quiet in the room and her electric was contained. She wanted to raze this place to the ground, to burn things using the intensity of the emotions within her and scream in the doctors face as she bites it off. And why shouldn't she? It's not like it'd get her in any worse of a situation than she feels she's in right now. Except for Fabian, he was right there. She didn't want to see him fry. Her previously asked question didn't have to be answered, she gathered he knew. But did that make it better? Not really.. He would help them. It was his job.
"I tried so hard," she added in a pathetic whimper, "I did, Puppy, I really, really tried." She'd lifted her face a little to stare at him with frightened eyes but after a few long moments of that she unfolded her limbs and for a moment looked like she was going to crawl forward. But her eyes found the cuffs on his belt and she held back, averting her gaze once more, "I want to kill them all.. Anybody who comes for my baby.. It's my baby. I'm not going to let them take it, I'm not, I can't. I'd rather die," she nodded once and made a determined sound, almost a growl, "kill them all."
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Post by FABIAN GENESIS ADOLFO on Jun 14, 2019 15:05:28 GMT 1
If he was going to be electrocuted, Fabian knew there would be very little he could do to stop Lottie from doing it, because as insulated as his boots were, and as much as the uniform covered his skin, her gift would no doubt find a way through and probably melt parts of his clothing to him. So he did not worry about the possibility or at least tried not to, and Fabian gained a bit more confidence of getting out of here without added scaring as he made it into the room and sitting without feeling static, even if he could hear it crackling away. Fabian thought it was probably wise to keep his hands to himself until that faded too just in case a current was running through the room.
As for Lottie’s question, Fabian gave a nod. He assumed she wanted to know if he knew about her baby being taken, which would be a yes. It was only recently he found out that was the plan but likely it was well before she had been told herself. He couldn’t think that info made much difference though, unless she thought he could stop it somehow and he was tempted to say it was not his decision but suddenly thought he probably shouldn’t blame it all on the medical team either. Manson simply was not set up to take care of a mother and a newborn safely especially then the mother needed so much care herself. Staff could take maternity leave and paternity leave, the few residents that got pregnant were either low risk and so could be allowed out under watch or like Lottie, had their baby taken away too. In all, it was just a bad set of circumstances that saw this happening not one person having a bad day.
Fabian was mostly looking to his feet as Lottie talked but he was listening too, he wouldn’t have minded if she came closer, it seemed best to let her speak and ask or say whatever she wanted rather than start a ramble on rules and regulation, it might be his default setting but Fabian knew when it was best to just keep his mouth shut. Even as she admitted to wanting to kill those who were taking her baby, the guard kept still, Lottie was just upset and he had no real reason to think she would act on that or wouldn’t the people who informed her be dead already?
It was only a few moments after Lottie was silent again that Fabian turned a little and brought his gaze up to her. There really was not an easy solution to this that would keep Lottie happy and Manson happy. “I know.” he said first, knew she had tried hard and knew she was angry and wanted to take that out on someone, he might not fully be able to sympathise but he could understand why this was difficult. “We can’t keep a baby safe here.” Fabian added on after, just quoting a little of the rules as it seemed the more important one, he didn’t want to guilt Lottie into giving up her baby but she had to know at least that.
What he said next was more accidental than intentional but it really came out before he could stop himself from suggesting it. “Would you agree to me and Zevren looking after your baby?” Until it was older at least if not adopting it fully.
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Post by LOTTIE ZOE MCFARLAN on Jun 14, 2019 20:00:37 GMT 1
Lottie wasn't surprised that Fabian knew all about them taking her baby. There was no way that he couldn't know about it, she was his charge and within the pack that he was alpha of. And in charge of all of the grumpo bossy people with sticks, she's heard them talking about it before. People always talk near her. She remembers more than people expect her too for somebody who can't remember her human life at all. The wolf woman had been told exactly why she wouldn't be able to keep her child, she knew and remembered every single word they said and part of her knew that they were right. Part of her, a small little part of herself that she was trying to drown out right now, knew that she couldn't possibly raise a well balanced child.
That didn't make it hurt any less. The wrenching pain in her chest hurt so badly, it kept tears silently rolling down her cheeks even as she tried to wipe them away on her already soggy sleeve. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot and puffy from the tears, some people manage to be pretty when they cry, but she wasn't one of them. Even her cheeks were all blotchy. But a determined fire burned in her eyes. Well electric actually, her eyes like a stormy sky, but none of it was aimed at Fabian, if anything she welcomed his presence. It was a confusing feeling, because he'd help them. She knew this down to her bones, but he was her alpha, wanting to hurt him seemed so fundamentally wrong. So what could she really do?
The answer was simple. She wanted some comfort and Fabian just sat there smelling familiar was helping her. She didnt feel happy but she felt safe. When he admitted that he'd known she'd been trying she felt a lot of the anger just melt away, it was the first time she'd felt like somebody had ackowledged that she'd been good. That she had indeed done well. Fabian hadn't actually complimented her, but she was taking it as one and she made a pathetic little hiccup of a sound and crawled out from her corner, ignoring the glass upon the floor so she could reach out and just curl her fingers loosely into the material of his shirt. It was like gaining an anchor for her mind, made her feel just a teeny tiny bit less homicidal.
She knew she could try her best to keep her baby safe, she'd go to the child's dad and demand he protect them both.. But could she trust that man? She barely knew him.. Then Fabian spoke again and she blinked wide eyed at him before hesitating a little, the uncertainty played over her face, "alpha's baby..?" Fabian was forever puppy, but joined with Zevren and they were the alpha's, "and you'd love the baby? And play with it? And let me see it sometimes? Please.. please let me see it sometimes?" She sniffled a little and cleared her eyes with the back of her hand covered by her sleeve again, wiping away unshed tears, "would you? Save it from being taken away?"
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Post by FABIAN GENESIS ADOLFO on Jun 15, 2019 17:19:12 GMT 1
After admitting he knew the plan to take her baby, Fabian expected some kind of reaction, more to the negative and being shocked but nothing came, Lottie seemed calmer if anything which he thought a bit odd, unless she was simply please to know someone had also acknowledged she had tired to do the right thing. It was sad that good intentions were just not enough in this case. When she crawled closer, despite wanting to regain the gap, Fabian stayed still. There were times to be strict about personal space and this did not seem to be one of them and so he didn’t flinch as Lottie gripped hold of his shirt and then with a great amount of hesitance, he gently placed a hand to her back. It only stayed there a few seconds, two or three at the most but it’s aim was to give her a little comfort back.
Admittedly Fabian had not really considered the baby’s father as a viable option in this scenario, he wasn’t sure if it had been confirmed who had made Lottie pregnant or if the medics were simply taking her word for it that it had been Aaron. It wasn’t too important, he was not exactly a prime example of a father himself right now and with his current grouping, there was no way he be allowed anything other than visitation rights any more than Lottie would be. If they were not letting a mentally unstable but otherwise perfectly sweet werewolf woman look after her kid, why would they a super strong killer with an overly violent streak?
This might have also played a part in what he offered next, after saying it Fabian someone immediately regretted asking as he was certain it overstepped some professional boundaries, but on a logical level, didn’t it make sense? He was a werewolf, Zevren was a born werewolf, on the wolf front they had that part of the baby’s species covered easily. And if the kid inherited some electrical gift, being a born mancer himself Fabian was sure he could aid in some way. Strength? The kid could get that if Aaron was the dad… It was a real mix of traits, surely it would be difficult to find someone else suitable to cope?
“Er…” Fabian said a bit lost for words now after the first outburst and he just listened to Lottie ask all her questions. They were all simply answers though, yes being the reply to most… But “I can try.” was the reply to the last part. He would ask to take the child on but if he would be allowed to was another matter entirely, and Zevren, he would have to agree too. Fabian thought he might be the easiest to convince.
“We might not be allowed. If we are, you can visit.” Depending how fast the kid grew, it could go to the pack meetings.
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Post by LOTTIE ZOE MCFARLAN on Jun 17, 2019 13:37:40 GMT 1
She had no intentions on blasting Fabian with a bunch of electricity, he wasn't a toy to be broken when she gets fed up with him, he was something so much more than that. She loves him in her own little way, the familiarity of his scent and the memories of 'playing', helping her to hunt that time.. There isn't another member of staff here that she'd grown close too. And in her own little deluded mind he feels the same way about her. Pack protects each other, right? He's not like Zack, turning on her for something that couldn't be helped. Everybody makes mistakes, the silly fae should know that. So far, Fabian hadn't betrayed her. She's not so simple as to think that because he knew they were taking her baby that he had a hand in the decision. It was the big higher ups and the horrible mean big boss rule makers that had made the decision..
She relaxed a little further at the warmth of that hand being placed upon her back, but it simply made more of the anger drain away, not the overwhelming hopeless sadness that still clenched at her chest. Lottie had never really felt like this before, she felt powerless even despite knowing that she could do some major damage if they attempted to take her child before she was ready. Would they even let her hold it? The baby shifted within her stomach and she let out a small hiccuping sob and let her free hand curl around her stomach, feeling the movement there whilst she still could.
In Lottie's mind Fabian was offering to basically save her kid with that offer. She knew him, she trusted him, she trusted his mate and they would keep the baby safe from being 'stolen'. She didn't like the idea of the kid being taken away to someplace unknown at all, that caused a panic within her that would simply send her down another path to exploding with rage again. Best to focus on letting her alpha's take over, it was better that way, because they were untouchable. That'd mean her baby would be untouchable. And she'll be able to see the baby too, because it'd still be a part of the pack. That was her thinking.
"Don't try," she snapped suddenly, a warning flashing in her eyes, "don't try, just do.. Or I swear I'll hurt people. I will, Puppy, they're not taking it." She grabbed for his hand and would try to place it on her tummy, so he could feel the youngest member of the pack shifting around, she'd try and make his hand stay there until he'd at least felt it. She'd fallen in love the first time she'd felt it move, so he should too, another Lottie logic.
"You're alpha, you'll be allowed.. They can't say no." Because that just makes no sense in her mind.
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Post by FABIAN GENESIS ADOLFO on Jun 17, 2019 21:25:40 GMT 1
If the hand on her helped or not Fabian couldn’t tell, Lottie was still sobbing so he guessed it probably did not so he avoided touching her again.
Fabian wondered if he could somehow make an excuse and leave, maybe fake a silent emergency call over his radio or just say he had another appointment to get to, but he had always been a terrible liar even when he knew exactly what he wanted to lie about and he was positive even Lottie would see right through it. Also Fabian felt she did not deserve being told a fake story just because he was getting himself into something he really should not be and speaking before thinking for once then dragging Zevren into this too without having spoken a a thing about this plan to him. Sure they talked about babies recently but Fabian felt he pretty much signed them up to the plan now. So he did try and backtrack a little but it seemed Lottie was not going to listen to reason. Fabian didn’t flinch at her sudden snap but he did focus a bit more intently to her just incase, even accidentally she let slip some of her static. He knew he couldn’t get away from it but he rather be prepared for the pain.
Before he was not convinced Lottie would harm anyone but now he wasn’t so sure. As a guard he generally had to believe the worst in people before the best with very few he could just take at face value, Lottie had been one of the more trustworthy people and even now he would still trust her, only he trusted her to do as she said too.
As his hand was taken Fabian did pull back a little, he didn’t really wanting to be feeling up her belly or what the message she was trying to get across by making him do it. He knew there was a baby in there but it still didn’t change the fact he couldn’t just pack a bag and take it home when it arrived.
“It’s complicated.” Fabian said as he pulled his hand back. “I can’t see why we wouldn’t be allowed. Just don’t want to lie to you.” Would she understand that?
Why wasn’t Zevren here… Fabian was starting to think he should have knocked on his husbands door, he was simply better at this. Was paid to do this. Had a degree for this. Fabian was fairly certain he had failed playtime back at school, he never really liked talking to the other kids.
“Might help if you make it known who you want your baby to go to. Make a plan. Show you gave it thought. Not threats to kill.” Fabian was thinking her wishes might be taken more seriously if it seemed she had put thought into it rather than reaction on emotions.
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Post by LOTTIE ZOE MCFARLAN on Jun 18, 2019 15:18:03 GMT 1
Lottie most certainly wouldn't believe any little lie that he came up with right now to leave. In fact, he'd have troubles leaving her here on her own again. Because he had been very correct when he's first entered the room, having somebody that she trusts nearby was most definitely comforting and as long as he was here she didn't have to worry about anybody else coming close to her. Certainly didn't have to worry about anybody hurting her or her unborn child. Fabian made her feel safe and where he goes.. Well, she was planning on following for now. Like a shadow. Unless he told her to stay put, in which case she'd hate it and whine like a kicked puppy but she'd do as she's told. Not many people get to tell her what to do, but he's one of them.
She did notice that he was listening to her though, his gaze was on her and she unwaveringly said what she needed to say, she'd got it out there. And she wasn't joking. If they tried to take her baby away to someplace she'll never, ever see it again then she'll lose her shit. Lottie will determinedly show them exactly how much of a monster she can still be even without the enhanced vampiric strength or bloodlust. If they survive her electricity then they won't survive getting their throats ripped out..
Quite possibly she'll end up in isolation before she gets to really cause too much damage, but that doesn't stop her wanting to rip, tear and kill. Lottie is used to getting her own way.. She knows though, she knows she won't be able to keep the baby if they're determined to take it away from her and she despises that. She'll be the literal bitch Zack had made her into unless she gains a little bit of control.. And that control will be her getting to decide who gets her baby. The alpha's she trusts.. She could calmly and proudly give Fabian her kid.
"It's not a lie," she said determinedly, frowning when he pulled his hand back, "it's my baby.. I get to choose where my baby goes and if I can't make a good decision then that's when they'll take over," because that made sense to her, it should be her decision, she's the mum and mother's know best. That disney song says so. "And I want you to look after it. Alpha's are best at looking after people.. You have experience and.. and, nobody will mess with you. Because alpha's rule is law." In the pack world. Not so much in the real world but shh.
... "That is my thoughts. Why make a plan? Do I need paper and pens? And some card maybe." Like a school presentation, she could make a poster. She'd actually quite enjoy doing something like that actually, it would be fun. She could draw Alpha and Puppy as wolves. And herself. And the baby as a baby wolf. All wolves.. It'd only make complete sense, "I'll make something to show them and if they don't like it.. Then zap."
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Post by FABIAN GENESIS ADOLFO on Jun 19, 2019 15:56:36 GMT 1
Fabian wasn’t sure how he was doing with all this, he guessed he would not really know until after the weekend and he came back to work monday morning with no reports of anyone being electrocuted. It would show Lottie was listening to him, had listened, was really willing and able to be at least a little flexible with the outcome of all this. Her options were very few to start with but she could, in Fabian’s opinion, still have a semi-desirable result if she just kept her temper and emotions in check. Of course a part of the guard knew this was one of those things that is easier to talk about than to do, you probably can’t be so pragmatic when there is a literal life involved, even if that would make things a whole lot easier. Not being so great with the emotional side of things it was also all Fabian felt comfortable sticking to for now, it was why he suggested Lottie making a plan, doing anything to show she was using her head in this and not just hear heart.
Lottie seemed to understand it though and Fabian nodded as she said if she didn’t chose right they would take over, they in this case being the higher ups who ultimately ran Manson. Her reasoning would be enough to make him smile a little any other time but it didn’t feel appropriate right now. “Thank you.” he said instead, tone lacking some warmth but he was genuinely a bit touched that she thought he could look after a baby when really he had nothing to prove that. A pack needed a leader but mostly it was Zevren who took control of things, and none in the pack were exactly babies who you needed to keep a constant watch over.
“I’m sure they will. People like drawn and written things.” Fabian added with a small shrug, for sure he did himself. It took effort but that could only work in Lottie’s favour. This time he did smile faintly as she agreed to make something, not so much the whole zapping part if they didn’t like it but just that she was doing as asked, though he wondered slightly if he would need to do similar to convince Zev this was all a good idea. Or just break the news of what, without consultation, he had signed them up to… maybe while half distracting him in the shower or something. It caused a tiny frown in Fabian’s face but it soon went and he looked across the room to the door.
This room was a mess, an apology might be in order to the therapy team but Fabian wasn’t going to push for it from Lottie yet, he rather she focus on whatever it was she planned to make.
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Post by LOTTIE ZOE MCFARLAN on Jun 19, 2019 18:46:55 GMT 1
Lottie has absolutely no memory of family. She has absolutely no memory of anybody ever loving her, no childhood memories, no friends, no mother, no father, no siblings if any. All she remembers is the agony of the beginning of her life, the repeated torture and the torrents of blood pouring down her throat until she ended up seeing the moon for the first time in over ten years. And then this place.. The only clear memories she has are those she's gained within Manson and even then there aren't many good ones. There was Zack, the fae who had let her feed off of his bubbly liquid sunshine he called blood, and then Fabian, who played with her.. Sure he'd taken her bucket, but she has another one now. He'd helped her hunt when she'd first gained four paws even though he'd been hurt, he let her join the pack.
They might not be memories that most people would say means much, if anything. But for somebody with a head empty of anything that could be considered a 'happy' memory it means a lot to her. It's why she'd been so happy to become a wolf.. Not only had she regained the sunlight, but wolves come with a pack. A pack is pretty much a ready made family. She belonged.
She beamed when he thanked her and wiped her tears away once more with her sleeve, a sort of hiccuping little laugh coming from her. When do people ever thank her? It's not often. She's not entirely sure what she'd said to get the thanks but she'd take it none the less. Perhaps she had a bit too much faith in Fabian's abilities, but then nobody was telling her otherwise so she could put him up on a pedestal all she liked and nobody could do much about it. Him and Zevren. Both were her alpha's, she was trusting them both.
"I like making things," she added with a softer smile, she's already come to the conclusion that Fabian will get her the crafting supplies that she needs to make herself a poster, it's hardly as if she's free to roam around the school section of Manson by herself, "I'm good at making things." She's not really, she's average at best. She can play music quite well though, a variety of stringed instruments but she rarely gets her hands on those either.
Her smile faded a little when he glanced around the room and his gaze landed on the door, he couldn't leave her yet. She wasn't ready to be on her own again. So she did the only thing she could think of doing and she lunged in to wrap her arms around Fabian's waist, her head ducked down against his solar plexus so she didn't have to see any look that may cross his face at her intrusion of his personal space. But, she didn't want him to go, "don't leave me.. Somebody else will come and they'll shout at me and I'm pretty sure that if they do then I'll end up biting them and getting into even more trouble and then they'll put me in the room with no windows and they won't give me any pens and then when the baby comes they'll just take it! So don't go, don't go, I'll be good with you, I promise. I promise, puppy, please.. I'll go to my room if you want, but not the lonely room, not there."
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Post by FABIAN GENESIS ADOLFO on Jun 20, 2019 10:27:50 GMT 1
If needed then Fabian would supply materials that Lottie needed, he was fairly sure they had somethings laying around the Secure Facility, paper and crayons at least if not glue and scissors which could be a bit of a health hazard in the wrong hands. But if not then he was certain he could borrow from Zev and the therapy department, with drawing being a method he had seen used a few times to get some of the younger (or just young in the head) residents to open up about things. Maybe Lottie could even do the creation with Zevren? The two needed to have a bond after all or would that be one of those things people see as inappropriate, given what they both (Fabian was assuming now his husband would be ok with it) were planning with Lottie? What with appearances, people talking, or whatever the hell Lyss was on about that day.
If what was made is any good or not Fabian didn’t think it mattered, it would be the fact she was trying, had something to show those that ultimately decided these things that she could be mature about all this and had a plan for her baby and reason for deciding on that. “That’s good.” he replied, having never seen anything Lottie had made he couldn’t know for sure but he wanted to be encouraging right now rather than really question her statement.
And he hadn’t actually been planning on leaving quite yet so was surprised as Lottie lunged and was suddenly had arms wrapped around him, if he wasn’t distracted by his own thoughts and that of a possible impending adoption or bloody clean up job should they all be refused, he might have on impulse thrown Lottie over and cuffed her, but his wolf, (which was his guiding light when emotions were concerned and Zev wasn’t around to ask) sensed no danger and so he just sat. Where did she think he was going, anyway? He would have to leave at some point, neither of them could sit here forever.
Fabian thought Lottie was jumping to a lot of false conclusions right now but simply blamed it on pregnancy and being a bit over emotional, it seemed best to just play along with her wishes, maybe warn others not to approach her too much even if they were never going to shout at her.
“I… We can’t stay here.” Fabian started to say, “Room needs to be fix.” Lottie might need looking at too after this outburst but that was for doctors to decided, to Fabian she seemed perfectly ok physically if not mentally. “Follow me and we can get things to make your poster. Then go back to your room. Can stay a little while with you. Can’t stay all night.” It was all more statements rather than options for Lottie.
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Post by LOTTIE ZOE MCFARLAN on Jun 23, 2019 13:04:21 GMT 1
Lottie would absolutely adore to sit down and do some crafts with the other alpha if the opportunity to do so was there. As much as she thinks Fabian can do no wrong she is subconsciously aware that he's probably not the best person to ask about colour coordination or what words to use to get the best result for what she's looking for.. The other alpha had always been the friendlier of the two, but she'd always preferred Fabian from the start purely because of knowing him before she'd even been a wolf. Zev had been more of a later addition to her life, she'd already picked favourites by then. But making crafts with him would make her incredibly happy. It was always nice to have some decent help.
'That's good'. Things couldn't possibly be all that bad if he was saying things like that.. Reassuring little compliments (that's how she was taking that anyway, she was good at taking words out of context) made her feel so much better. A lot better actually. So that, coupled with her now closer position made her feel a lot more relaxed than she had been earlier, even the wolf within her was calming down just by breathing in his scent. Not the scent of the man either, she wasn't interested in that, it was the wilder underlying scent of the wolf she was comforting herself with.
... Getting thrown down and cuffed would have simply resulted in a breakdown of epic proportions and she may well have tried to do a real runner from this place entirely. Thankfully though, he just sat which resulted in Lottie loosening her grip just a little but she didn't let go. He was an anchor to keep her overactive and panicky mind from spiralling downwards and she wasn't releasing him easily. Unless he asked. But he hadn't yet.
Statements worked with her. Saying how it was going to be was better than having options to choose from. They are often confusing and make her think of her own options which aren't often something that is doable, "we can't stay here.. There's glass on the floor.." She spoke quietly as if she was also trying to convince herself, "I didn't mean too. But things are too much, everything is too much, I can't think.." Past being told she couldn't keep her child, "all the horrible thoughts hurt." Even now everytime she remembered the news a wave of despair washed over her. Lottie's eyes closed tightly and she whimpered softly, "I don't want to think anymore, puppy."
She kept one of her hands locked in the material of the shirt at his back but she sat up a little and nodded, "mm.. okay, before somebody comes along and shouts at me." She'd already made it quite clear what would happen if that happened, "can't stay all night.. Alpha needs you too," for company and whatever it is that they got up too together, "if I try and go to sleep.. will you stay until I fall asleep? I can make my poster in the morning? I don't have no appointments in the morning.." But now she could sleep.. Sometimes being emotionally unstable was just plain exhausting.
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Post by FABIAN GENESIS ADOLFO on Jun 24, 2019 10:57:02 GMT 1
Things being too much was something Fabian could relate to, getting overwhelmed hadn’t been as much of an issue for him as an adult than it had been a child, he had coping strategies now, a large wolfy one… but still he could sort of sympathise with Lottie finding the situation overwhelming. He didn’t think it was a very unique scenario though, surely anyone with half a heart would feel the same in her position? Getting pregnant, seemingly not really knowing how that even works, then being told she can’t keep the baby. Who wouldn’t find it too much?
Nodding, Fabian knew Lottie did not mean to wreck the room, he wasn’t angry with her about the mess just stating they couldn’t stay sitting in it. Of course breaking things from anger was not good, only in her case it was understandable. But beyond what he had already said Fabian had no clue how to help make this situation any better, for sure he couldn’t stop Lottie thinking unwanted things without distracting her somehow. Maybe just getting to making that poster would be good, making her think about what would go on it if nothing else. “Think about the poster for now?” It might help…
Standing up Fabian gave the room one last look around and then refocused to Lottie, she seemed calm enough to safely be walked outside and he had hope that he could return home later without an added extra clinging to his back awkwardly. “Yeah. Alpha needs me.” Fabian repeated this time like an extra repetition might convince her a bit more too that he did need to go home later.
If that meant staying until she fell asleep well, it depended how long that took, if she went to sleep at all. Fabian was about to give the perimeters but a little voice at the back of his mind told him it would be unwise and so he just agreed. “Sure, if you want.” Getting home a bit late would not matter, he was sure Zev would understand.
At this point he should rightly cuff Lottie to take her back but he knew that was a bad idea without any real thought and so just waited for her to get ready to leave, if she wanted him to be with her until she fell asleep he couldn’t think she try and run off as soon as they got in the hallway.
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ID Number: 5545-121-A-0
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Post by LOTTIE ZOE MCFARLAN on Jun 24, 2019 16:23:23 GMT 1
Lottie has a habit of assuming a little bit too much in her life. So when something comes along and radically changes her outlook on the world then she doesn't know quite what to think. She believed she'd have this baby and it would be the answer and sanctuary to all of her problems, she'd have somebody to love and rely on her. But now that was being taken away from her and she didn't know what to think at all. The pack life she understood.. it was simple, she had yet to do anything wrong as a wolf. It's the human side of her that she struggles with on a daily basis.
She shifted her weight a little which caused the grinding of broken glass beneath her to sound out again. Luckily she hadn't cut herself on any of the shards, or she's pretty damn certain she hasn't anyway. "Will they punish me..?" She asked quietly, her gaze still quite saddened as it slowly scanned around the room. If she'd intended to destroy the room she'd have thrown furniture around too..
"Okay.. I think I'll do the writing in blue. That's supposed to be a calming colour, did you know? And yellow is the colour for friendship, and red is meant to be a warning colour. But I've always liked red." She could ramble about colours all day, Fabian may have helped by directing her thoughts in that direction.
She was talking to herself about felt and stickers when Fabian stood up, though she was satisfied that he wasn't going to be going anywhere without her right now so there was no instant regrabbing of the alpha wolf. It wasn't until he rementioned the other alpha that she glanced up at him and smiled warmly, "I know, I know things.. Lottie isn't as stupid as people think I am. I just don't always remember, or my information gets confused between my ears and brain. That's what they tell me in those talking lessons." The counselling, "I guess they must be right, 'cause they have a certificate telling them they know what they're doing. I don't have one of those."
She stood to her feet, she hadn't brought anything with her and so there was nothing to gather other than her scattered emotions but they were slowly being pulled together thanks to the presence of this man she trusted. She reached out to loop her fingers in his belt, not grabbing for him or trying to undress him, nothing so crude, she was just holding on so he couldn't move far without her coming along for the ride.
"I'm ready.." she was quite relieved that he hadn't put the cuffs on her, she wouldn't have liked that in the slightest. But then, around Fabian, she didn't really need them. She's done as she's told meticulously around him so far and will continue to do so because she's determined to be a good wolf. Lottie doesn't want to do anything to potentially harm her position in the pack, she loves her dysfunctional family. It makes her happy.
She'd be quiet as they start to walk but would pipe up as they wandered down the halls, "I'd like to find somebody like alpha.. somebody nice who will wait for me to come home at night. How did you meet alpha, puppy? Did you know that he was going to be your mate for life or, or was it confusing and messy to begin with?"
Because that's how she'd describe her 'relationship' with Zack. Confusing and messy.
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